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Test for extreme stress

Most of us are stressed most of the time. However, check the following test to see how extreme your stress might be. If extremely stressed, OMG time to lighten up!

  1. Your bladder seems to be shrinking right when you need a larger capacity because you don't have time to go to the bathroom.
  2. The bags under your eyes are almost getting large enough to carry your groceries.
  3. You can't find your car keys because they're in the ignition.
  4. You can't remember the names of family members although they certainly look familiar.
  5. You lose consciousness upon starting your car and "come to" at your destination with no idea how you got there.
  6. Your blood pressure causes the machine at the drug store to break.
  7. You want to eat dinner but can't remember if you've already eaten and whether you enjoyed it if you have.
  8. You want your 3 minute egg in two minutes.
  9. You find yourself frantically searching a room for something but you have no idea what it is.
  10. You stop to smell the roses and for one panicky moment, you're not sure why you're standing in front of a rose bush.
  11. You leave on vacation and forget one of your children.
  12. You feel compelled to wear a swim suit under your clothes because you can't get rid of the sensation you're treading water.
  13. Your adrenaline starts to pump because your computer boots up too slowly.
  14. You hear a grinding noise in the bedroom at night and realize it's you grinding your teeth.
  15. You feel unfairly picked on because you have to wait for something/anything.
  16. Instead of raising the garage door, you just back on through.
  17. You prepare for the freeway by checking your weapons.
  18. You board a plane for one city and feel put out that they took you to another just because you boarded the wrong plane.
  19. You feel irritated when a real person answers the phone and you have to talk to them instead of their machine.

If you have 5 or more of these symptoms you are suffering from extreme stress. You must find a prescription for laughter. You are "dying" for a happier life.

Stress Test ©1999 Enda Junkins

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