Twelve reasons Christmas is better than sex
- The only turkey in the house is on the dinner table.
- The only spontaneous surprises come down the chimney.
- When we strip off the wrapping, we are always excited by what's inside.
- The only thing expected to be in mint condition are the candy sticks.
- Overweight people are in!
- The only thing frigid is the weather.
- The only beings required to be horny are the reindeer.
- If things don't go well, you can still sing about putting the partridge in the pear tree.
- The only necessary climax is Santa's arrival.
- All you need to jazz up the same old stale fruitcake is a little rum.
- The stiffest thing in the house has a star on the tip.
- If you don't get what you want, you don't have to go through it again until next year.
© Enda Junkins, LCSW, LMFT, BCD